Breathe Magazine | Do's and Don'ts of Engagement Party Planning ...

Photo by Lauren D. Rogers

The man of your dreams has just asked you to marry him, and?you?ve?said ?I will.? But before ?I do? rolls around, there are many, many other details to take care of.

With the average engagement time in the U.S. clocking in at only 15 months, it?s easy to want to jump start the planning process the moment that ring hits your finger ? especially if it?s something you?ve been looking forward to for a while. Before you begin planning your wedding, however, there?s one event you might want to think about first:? an engagement party, the traditional kickoff of the wedding-day countdown.

These days, many of the rules concerning engagement party protocol are more relaxed than in years past. For one thing, it?s no longer a given that an engagement party must be hosted by the bride?s parents at their home. Other family members, close friends or the couple themselves may host the event. And location options run the gamut from country clubs to bowling alleys, backyards to barnyards. However, there are some basic tenets of engagement party etiquette that still hold true.

Get on with it!

Engagement parties should be held no more than three months after the announcement. If the engagement is to be relatively short, the sooner the better, or guests ? and you ? will feel overwhelmed trying to fit one more thing in between the showers, bachelorette parties and the wedding itself. Ideally, the engagement party should take place before wedding Save the Dates are sent.

Begin building a guest list

It is a major manners no-no to invite people to the engagement party who are not invited to the wedding. Think of it as a great opportunity to begin building the foundation of your larger wedding day guest list. Because of this, and the additional cost of hosting a large event, many couples opt to limit engagement party invitations to immediate family and the bridal party. That way, no matter the scale your wedding takes, you won?t run the risk of offending anyone.

Don?t be greedy

You shouldn?t expect guests to bring gifts to your engagement party. Chances are, your guest list will include mainly those closest to you, and they will already be springing for shower and wedding gifts and potential costs from the wedding itself, such as dresses and travel. It?s inappropriate to begin registering for wedding gifts until after the party; to do so gives the impression the gifts are expected. If a guest asks, let them know their presence is gift enough.

It?s not only about you

For many couples, the engagement party may be the first time the two families meet. Focus on creating an intimate environment where people can get to know each other. And as much as you may love staring into your fella?s eyes, don?t ignore your guests ? mingle! If you worry that guests might prematurely try to separate themselves across the aisles, consider planning a few party games or having ice-breaker cards on the tables.

Be a gracious guest

If someone offers to host an engagement party on your behalf, it?s in poor taste to decline without a really good reason. Afterward, be sure to send a thank you note and small gift, or spring for professional cleaning if they?ve hosted the event in their home. Nothing sours the spirit of giving like having to clean up a giant mess. Also, if someone is generous enough to host a party to congratulate you and your fianc?, don?t try to take control of the event. It?s fine to make suggestions, but ultimately, they are the ones throwing the party and you will have plenty of control over the actual wedding day.

Cheers!

Traditionally, the father of the bride gives the first toast, followed by the groom toasting the bride and her family.? If the host is a family friend, they should welcome guests and announce the toasts, but refrain from offering their own until the immediate family has done so.

Mix it up

If you are hosting your own engagement party, it?s okay to mix things up by giving the event a theme. Consider a pool-side beach bash if you plan to have an oceanfront wedding. Or take inspiration from your ideal honeymoon destination: a Parisian champagne and dessert f?te or a Hawaiian-style luau. If your style is more laidback, throw a casual backyard barbecue or a weekend brunch at an area restaurant.

Look the part

Because you?re guaranteed to be the center of attention, you?ll want to look your best. As the bride-to-be, it?s nearly impossible to be overdressed, so take the opportunity to splurge on something a little fancier than usual. Check out these fun and flirty party dresses for ideas. ?

Keep things in perspective

It?s important to remember your engagement party should not upstage your wedding. Spending a lot of money so early in the game might mean less to spend on the main event. However, if finances are not a problem, this might be a good chance to try out vendors before your wedding if they are to be held in the same area. Of course, if an engagement party isn?t in the budget, you can still send out official announcements in the mail, put an announcement in your local newspaper or community magazine or launch your wedding website. The most important thing is to remember what you?re celebrating: the beginning of a wonderful journey with the person you love.

Lauren is a wedding photographer, freelance writer and graphic designer in Staunton, Va. Follow her at www.laurendrogers.com for more wedding-related tips, freebies and real-wedding inspiration.?

Source: http://www.readbreathe.com/blogs/dos-and-donts-of-engagement-party-planning-draft/

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